the sound of silence (edward)

Emrys cried, a lot, today. He's not the kind of men who never cry, who's never weak. Sometimes he went in his bedroom when he's really sad and cry, alone, thinking about his dead wife. Today is worse than every other day because it's been two years since his wife died in a car accident. Last year was horrible, he drank all the night until he couldn't walk straight and then he went to sleep.
This year Emrys decided to go out and drink, a lot, like last year. He don't know why he decided to go in a bar instead of staying in his appartment. The young man sat down and ordered a glass of whisky. Usually he drinks wine but for the actual situation, it's not enough, he needed something more strong than a glass of wine. And he likes whisky even if it makes him remember England and all the sad things that happened there.

While he was thinking about his wife, a man sat down on a chair next to him. Emrys looked at him with a sad eye. He remembered him a bit, they met in england few years ago, he didn't know he was there, in Bowen. The man asked him if he's okay. He couldn't answer a simple yes like everybody does everyday because it's not true and he couln't lie, his eyes are red because he cried a lot today, Edward would see that he's not okay. Emrys thought if he came to met him it was because he saw that something went wrong. At first, he didn't answer the question but when the man asked him again how he is, Emrys felt he had to say something. “today is not the best” it's quite obviously but he didn't want to say : oh you know two years ago my wife died in a car accident. He drank his glass of whisky and ordered another one, he will need several other glasses to forget how sad is this day and more if he needs to talk to someone. “how you remember me ?” He asked to Edward. They had seen them years ago why he is coming to talk to him now, they are like nobody for each other. Emrys remembers quite well people, especially their voices but it's not the case of everyone.

Emrys isn't someone who talks a lot, he thinks if he haven't something interesting to say, he have to keep his mouth close. When he was in England and everything was fine, he talked a bit more, especially about his wife. He used to talk about her to everybody, he was so in love with her. But now, it's more complicated for him to say something about Daisy because it remembers him her car accident and her dead. Even if he thinks about her like thousands times everyday, he never said something, it's like his secret garden. But tonight, it's quite different, he drank and it's a special day and not the happiest. For a second, he thinks about tomorrow and the hangover he will have but he doesn't care about it, for now, he needs to drink more. Emrys finds Edward quite sweet because he don't have to be kind towards him, even if they know each others a bit. He finishes his second glass of whisky, asks for another and then start to talk “You know...I had a wife...and...now she's dead...and...I don't know how I can survive without her.” He survived for two years but it's only because he became history teacher, his dream-job, it helps him to forget, a little, his loneliness.

Emrys felt so stupid, no one can understand how he felt. Even someone who lost his wife or her husband can't understand because Daisy wasn't only his wife, she was his soulmate. They had known each other since kindergarden and they fell in love when they were about five years old.
Edward said he was sorry. Emrys used to heard that sentence, it seemed like everybody is sorry for what happened but he didn't care because it changed nothing to him. The man was curieus because he asked details to Emrys. He hesitated but after he said in his head : tomorrow I will remember anything so whatever. “she had a car accident two years ago.” he simply answered. He just answer the questions Edward ask and it's already a lot for him. Usually he would have say sothing. “I can't locking for someone else, I'm in love with her.” he said desperatly. He couldn't imagine be with someone else, even if it's been two years and he know she'll never come back. It's not like they divorced, sh'es dead, it's over.
Emrys quite agree Edward, it wasn't a good idea to drink until he couldn't walk straight but it isn't the worst idea, it could have been worse ! “what else can I do ?” he asked, hoping for a good answer. The last question of Edward put a smile on Emrys' face but not a happy smile. “what do you think ? I'm not happy, she misses me.”