maybe it was a part of a plan (concho)

It was never too late to enjoy life just like when we were young. I, for instance, became even better at it. When I was a teenager, there were too many matters in my life for me to really appreciate the young years I was living. Nowadays, even if I still had some serious responsibilities, I could also take the time to let go a little. Live life to the fullest. This was the time of my life, I knew that, and that’s why I decided that tonight, I wouldn’t talk anymore about Ally, even though Oscar and I had a connection through her. Even if he had talked to her just before she took off. I didn’t want to spend any more time complaining instead of having a wonderful time with a new friend. We started drinking out of our bottles, walking alongside the sea, talking about where we were before we came to Bowen. Or came back, in my case. « Google ? Uh-uh, no man. You gotta see Melbourne for real, like, for real real. » I looked at him and smiled, remembering the numerous years I had spent there. « The old port, the market street, the bridge, the ferris wheel … God, sometimes I really miss it. » The people, the big city. Bowen was nothing like that, and even though I loved my hometown, it didn’t have everything a big city like Melbourne had to offer. Just like Melbourne couldn’t give me everything Bowen once gave me. I couldn’t have it all. Nobody can. Oscar then told me he was from England, five years ago. But he had been to Australia before that. « Oh, so … your little girl, uh … Luce. She wasn’t like … I mean … she came from a one night stand ? » I asked, and hurriedly added : « I’m not judging at all, you know. I’m just asking. » I paused, waiting for the answer, and then asked : « Are you still in contact with the mother ? » I took a sip of my bottle and smiled when Oscar realized that he was already opening up a lot, even if we were only at the start of the evening. « Hey, don’t worry about that. This is a bro zone. We say everything that’s on our mind, except when it comes to our mothers, sisters, and daughters. » Well, I didn’t have any of these, but still.

As a teenager, Oscar was such a fool. Just a naive kid, the kind of guy who thought he could have wathever he wanted. He planned to travel and he went to Australia, he liked to party and he was pratically drunk every night. He wasn't thinking a lot, even if he wasn't a stupid boy who didn't know a thing. He just loved to enjoy his life. Then he became more rational, he put his dreams in a box and became a teacher, instead of a broadway artist. Maybe he would have failed, maybe he would have been poor and his life so much worst than what he has now. Be he'll never know, because he never tried. When Concho talks about his city and the fact that Oscar has to see it in real life, he smiles back at him and nods without iterrumpting him. He can understand why he miss Melbourne, sometimes Oscar is also nostalgic about his country. His family, his friends, the Big Ben or also the London Eye. « Would you like to go back ? Like, we could go in the same time, you to see your family and me to lose myself in the streets. » New smile on his face. Then he drinks again, talking about himself, about how he discovered he was suddenly a dad. « It sounds really bad when it is said out loud, but yes. I was so young, absolutely not ready for that. But now I love her so much, she's like a sunshine in my life. » She makes him smile, laugh, and also really happy. Oscar is thanksful towards Concho for not judging him, even if he had the feeling that he wouldn't do such a thing like this. He's not sure why, even if they know each other for a few days only, he can feel that he's a comprehensive person. « Just for Luce. We can stand each other, but we are not really best friends. » And he doesn't know why. They had a fight when Luce was bord but today, five years later, there is still tensions between them without any particular reason. Oscar takes another sip. « A bro zone sounds nice to me. » He smiles again, looking at Conchobáhr. « I feel like this is what we needed both of us. »

In a way, I had been lucky in my very own bad luck. I didn’t have to put my dreams in a box, locked away while having to live a more adult life. That life, I had been living it for quite a while now, because of the responsibilities I had to take way before my age. My dreams, I had quieted them at such a young time in my life. No kid should have to lose all of his hope so fast. But then some kind of miracle happened, making me richer than I could ever imagine, granting me access to almost everything I could possibly want. Of course, that could have been dangerous. From the little boy with almost nothing to the millionaire with a hundred possibilities, many things could have gone wrong. Hopefully I was able to make the right decisions, or I thought I did for most of them. In a way, I still didn’t know if I made the right decision coming home, leaving Melbourne. Maybe I should’ve just stayed there to open up Head Ahead with the kids from the big city. Then I would never have seen Ally again. None of this would’ve happened. But then again, there were so many people I wouldn’t have seen again, or met. Like Oscar. « Oh you know, I wouldn’t give you much time and space to get lost on the streets. I don’t really have family there … or at all to be honest. » I laughed, nervously, scratching the back of my head with one hand. « But I’d love to go back anyway, yeah. I could go visit my old guys from work, we could meet up some places and hang out. I’d show you the best places to meet girls. » I laughed. I have to admit that I had been quite the party animal, back there. Maybe it would bring it out of me again. Oscar then talked about him becoming a father so suddenly, and the relation he had with the mother. I nodded. « Well at least you’re not at each other’s throat. A kid can sense that. » I said, talking from my own experience. It probably wasn’t my place to lecture Oscar about any of that, and anyway I’m sure he already knew all of that, but I still needed to say it. « Yeah. You’re like the unexpected cherry in a very melted sundae. » And I drank to that.

Life is made of good and bad choices, but it never tells you wich one is the good one. Leave or stay, do it or don't. When he came back to London, he has two possibilites. Staying with his family, friends, and with all the people he loved. Or coming back to Australia, being a father, and leaving his old life behind him. He never knew what was the best to do, who he would have become if he never left England. He wouldn't have known Luce, would have never spent a day with her, or bouht her favorite cereals. He would be the same as he was when he was a young man, a silly boy who only thinks about the present. Not the futur, not the past, just today's day. When Concho talks about the fact that he has not really a family at Melbourne, Oscar looks at the ground then nodds. He quite feels sorry for him, but he doesn't want to bring back a sad topic again, like he did with Ally. Hopefully, Concho continues with more positives vibes and, again, Oscar smiles at him. The end of his speech makes him laugh. « Yeah, that would be great. I think I kind of lost my abilites of seduction with girls. » Because he was too clumsy, he doesn't always know what to say, and he's even sometimes too tired to go out because of his job, his plays, or his daughter. He never was a seducer even when he was going out a lot, Oscar was more like the friend who brings the drunk one at her bed. The one who listens, who helps to forgive the stupid boyfriend, but he wasn't the one who made them fall in love. He was too into Nevaeh to notice them, anyway. This period of his life seems to be from fifty years ago. He sighs, thinking about Luce's daughter. Things has never been all pink and perfect, but Concho was right, they never wanted to kill each other. His last sentence put another smile on Oscar's face. « Don't make me blush, » he laughs before drinking again. « You know what ? I think we're all here for a reason. In Bowen, I mean. » He looks right in front of him, thougtfull. « It looks like a lot of people are here because they have a tough past. Bowen seems to be, like, a new beginning. A way to start a new life, you know. And I quite like the idea. »

The idea of being wingman for one another had a really nice ring to it. I could already picture us in a bar or a chill place like that, having fun and meeting girls. But Oscar felt a little bit rusty, from what I could hear. “There’s no such thing as seduction. Really. I mean, when I was young, I always tried so hard, I wanted a girlfriend so much, and then later, the day I started to let go and just act like myself, I had dates two or three times a week !” I laughed. “And I’m not saying this to brag, not at all. I just mean that … you know, you’ve got charm and charisma, I can tell, so just roll with it. I’m sure any girl would find herself lucky to get to know you.” Things were starting to get a little bit too cheesy, weren’t they ? As if I was trying to get in Oscar’s pants. Well, I wasn’t, if it can reassure you. He just seemed like a nice guy who needed a little bit of cheer. Of course, I left out the part that I lost so much weight that my body transformed a lot and probably fitted a lot more the beauty standards. It helped my case, no doubt. But the idea was still the same : guys who tried too hard to seduce a woman looked like players, and I was certain that Oscar didn’t want that, just like I didn’t. The conversation drifted to another topic, and Oscar started to talk about Bowen in a very profound way. Like if that city was the meeting point for so many people. A place for them to find redemption, forgiveness, freedom. I liked that idea too, and even though Bowen had sometimes been a hard memory to have for me, I knew that my definition of it nowadays was much closer to Oscar’s one. I had finally made my peace with Bowen. “You’re right. And we all help each other in our struggle, in a way.” I added. I lifted my bottle in the air and said to Oscar : “To new beginnings. And to new friendships.” I smiled. This was the commencement of something epic.

He listens to him while his smile becomes bigger. After all, Concho isn't wrong. He never really had the chance to hit on a girl because, well, Oscar is not really good at it. He never was, even before Luce. Even when he succeeded, the girl ended with another guy. « Two or three times a week ? Wow, I seriously need to take exemple on you, » he says while laughing. But no, Oscar doesn't really want that kind of life. He's the kind of guy who gets attached to fast, who could fall in love with a girl who doesn't give a shit about him. Maybe that's why he never approachs girls in a bar. Because he knows what most of them wants these days, and he can't bring them this kind of one night relation. He's a hopeless romantic, an old-fashioned, a guy who still believes in wedding and stupid things like that. His compliment makes him smile. « I won't forget it next time, thank you. » Yeah, maybe it's getting too cheesy. Maybe they should end right now their girl conversation and begin to act like mens. Drink, talk about sport and cars, stuff like that. But instead of that, they start to become philosophers. In five years, soon six, Oscar learnt to love Bowen. It was his daughter's city and, quickly, it became his too. He loves the streets, the citizens, everything that makes this place so special. He also lifts his bottle in the air before drinking a big sip from it. The alcohol instantly warms his whole body. « When I look at the sea, I have this strange desire of running right into it, » he says before laughing again. « Does that sound weird ? »

I laughed, thinking back on those nights I spent with so many different girls. I just couldn’t handle this new attraction I had on women. I was too young, too excited. I wanted to meet every girl I could like in Melbourne. « Nahh, the dating lifestyle is overrated. I mean, it’s nice to meet women when you don’t have anybody, but … Back then it was way too much. I got so caught up in this whole thing, in the end it wasn’t fun at all … » Ok, maybe I was exaggerating. It was still fun, but it was also a big commitment. And coming back to Bowen helped me calm down too, because then I’d end up having dates with girls I went to high-school with, and that could have been awkward. We continued talking about Bowen, our new lives here, and it began more and more to look like Montesquieu and Voltaire having a conversation about the meaning of existence. But with words way less intellectual. We drank to what we just said, and Oscar started staring at the ocean. After a while, he told me he had this intense and weird desire to run right into it. I could understand. The feeling of water on the skin was something really intense, and good. I took a sip from my bottle, before answering : « No, it doesn't sound weird at all. Actually, I know exactly what you mean. » And then I started taking off my shoes and my socks. I walked towards the water and looked back at Oscar. « Well, what are you waiting for, man ? Let's start living ! » I continued walking into the water, and at some point, below my belly, just right between my legs, it's started to get really cold. « Oh my god it's fucking freezing ! » I took a step back, suddenly feeling way less brave.

Again, he listens to him and nods. Like this, Oscar feels like a young boy in front of and old man talking about his long life, like if he was on earth since centuries. « So, how many lives did you have ? Like, how did you find the time to go through all these stages while I'm still stuck a the "we'll see what happens" one ? » He laughs, even if the situation might not be funny for Concho. He doesn't really know what happened in his life, why he decided to date many girls or why it suddenly became too much. Oscar, he feels like he never changed. He's still a the same point, as the clumsy teenager he had always been. He never wanted to date all kind of girls, or to stop definitively dating. He just kept going on the same road, fell in love a few times without knowing if she could be the one. He believed it one time, and this time isn't a big mystery anymore. After saying about his weird desire to run into the ocean, Oscar looks carefully at Concho. Contrary to what he thought, he doesn't see him as a creep. « You can't imagine how much you make me happy right now, » he says before smiling. In the same time, he takes off his shoes, socks, then he walks toward the ocean and breath in when the water touches his feets. « It will pass ! » he shouts before running in slow mention in the water, pushing Concho in his race against the horizon.

At Oscar’s remark about the number of lives I must have lived to have so many experiences, I laughed. I guess I sounded like the old wise man of the village when, in fact, I felt like I was still a child. I never received a normal education, I never learned how to be an adult, and becoming a millionaire at such a young age didn’t really help me to take on responsibilities. Of course, anyone would say I turned out alright, and I guess I did, yes, but it wasn’t for my wisdom or my age. « Don’t worry, I’m not a cat or anything like that. » I said, laughing. And then, I became a little more serious as I continued: « Let’s just say I had to be a man way before my time. I had a lot of years already to try to figure out how to be an adult … but I’m still not there yet. » When my mama died, I was all alone, on my own at first. I had to take care of myself with the little I had. That pushed me into adulthood in a heartbeat. Maybe that explained why it felt like I had gone through so many stages, as Oscar would say. It didn’t feel like it, though. After all, I was still the same little boy inside. The one always ready to take off some of his clothes and run off to the ocean, just like right now. There we were, fighting the cold of the water, running in slow motion. Oscar didn’t really give me a choice, pushing me further away, my body getting completely submerged into the cold ocean. « It may pass, but my penis is never going to forgive me for this. » I shouted humorously.