friends in low places (leo)

Maybe it was because he was missing the student life, maybe it was because he needed to feel like he was part of something again even though it wouldn’t be real at all, but either way Elmo ended up at some kind of frat party. He still had a lot of friends on the Bowen campus, friends who, unlike him, didn’t completely flake out on their studies and on their entire future. When Elmo dropped out, a certain distance got between them, but they kept in touch. Occasionally, they would invite Elmo to their parties just to catch up and have a good time. Even though the Italian was now working full-time, he was still a party animal and they knew it. Tonight was the annual AlcohOlympics, a drinking contest at the end of which everybody was completely wasted. In other words, it was the perfect kind of night for ‘Mo. He just finished an eight hours shift, got changed and joined his friends at the address they gave him. His hair smelled of strong coffee and sweet pastries. He got there just in time for the team draw. Teams of two were being formed. He had given his name to one of his friends so that he could put it in the hat even if he ended up running late. Five minutes in, his name was drawn, along with the name of Leo. He walked up to the front of the room, expecting to see a guy, but instead found himself in front of a girl, cute but in a dark way (if that makes any sense). He smiled. “Hey … I’m Elmo. Looks like you're my new drinking buddy. I hope you can hold your liquor ‘cause I really want to win this shit.” He said with a smirk even though he was dead serious. Elmo was competitive as fuck and she would find that out pretty soon.

A student party? That's low, even for you, Leo thought to herself as she walked in. She definitely wasn't a student, never had been, and knew nothing about the highs and lows of university parties. Yet she was here. She had been unofficially invited by overexcited girls who held their before party at the Elm Street. But to be completely honest, she hadn't even gotten their names, and there was no way they would remember her, seeing as drunk they already were by then. But Leo had finished her shift, was slightly buzzed already, and had nothing better to do. She had been in Bowen for a year now  yet had failed to make any friends. I'm not that old right? Maybe she could manage to do so now. She was on the hunt for beer when for some reason she stumbled into a large room, where some kind of Olympics where held. She tried to bow her head down and rush past the drunken students, but it ended up being a miserable failure. Five minutes later, her name was written up in a bowl, and she waited awkwardly for something to happen. Turns out, the students were holding a drinking contest. Her head spruced up. Maybe she sucked at making friends, but drinking, that was her thing. She could outdrink most of the drunks at the Elm Street any day. Which should have been worrying, but honestly, she held onto any skill she had nowadays. Leo and Elmo, she heard. Honestly, she hid a laugh. Elmo? Seriously? She expected to find a drunk student with a shitty costume, but was surprised to meet to find a normally dressed dude, not bad looking, with a twinkle in his eyes. "Hi Elmo. There's probably no joke you haven't heard about your name by now right?" Probably not the best way to introduce herself, but at least she tried. She laughed. He seemed determined to win the game. She hadn't thought much about it, letting herself be carried by the spirit of the party, but honestly, she could use a win. Well, she didn't know if you could really call winning a frat contest an achievement, but she could use anything at this point. "Dude, I'm a bartender. Let's show these bitches what we're made of." she said with a wink. She heard the dudes screaming on tops of their lungs. Hi everyone. So to start off Bowen University's first Drinking Olympics, we would like to thank everyone being there. The Grand Prize for tonight's debauchery will be a 6L bottle of Grey Gooze... (Leo scoffed. Amateurs. That was definitely the kind of vodka students bought thinking it was the shit. It wasn't, it was just more expensive. She wasn't about to say no to winning it though, and that bottle was positively huge) ... a giant dolphin plushie (cute, not her vibe, but cute) ... and two tickets for Bowen's cruise ship accompanied with (plastic) crowns for tonight's winners! (She didn't really care for it honestly, but her mind got back to the almost human sized bottle of vodka. She wanted it. Now). The crowd cheered. Leo looked back at her partner in crime for the night. "I'm so in."
First round, beer pong!!. People cheered, and she headed towards the tables. Things were staring off slow. She might be good at drinking, but agility was less of her thing, result of years of drinking and an almost permanent shake in her hands. "Okay that doesn't look really good for now, but trust me I'll get better."  Downing the cups she could do, aiming, not her strong suit. She hoped her partner would save her on this one.

Of course, the first thing she brought up was his name. He rolled his eyes with a smile, used to being made fun of. The little furry red monster, that’s what he was since kindergarten. The worst thing was that he was actually born eighteen years after that stupid cartoon character. What the fuck were his parents thinking? “Yeah. I have no doubt you’re a really creative person, but I bet you everything I have that you wouldn’t be able to find something new.” He laughed. “I don’t have much, so that said, you can give it a try anytime you want.” He didn’t have much to lose. Even if he did, he could always lie and pretend he had already heard everything Leo would bring up. Anyway, Elmo wasn’t just that creepy monster’s namesake, he was also a drinking warrior, and he really hoped his partner could live up to the legend he once was during these frat parties. Her answer didn’t leave him disappointed. A bartender. Jackpot. “Heeell yeaaah.” He rubbed his hands together with a winning smile, and the contest hadn’t even started yet. He could feel the victory with his fingertips. Elmo turned to face the guy standing in front of the living room window. He explained the Grand Prize for the contest. Elmo glanced at Leo when he heard her giggle and smiled. To be honest, vodka was vodka, he didn’t really care if it wasn’t the best shit out there, as long as it could get him drunk. He leaned towards her when they revealed the cruise ship’s tickets. “If we win, I mean … when we win, do we like … have to go together?” He said, raising his eyebrows. He didn’t mean to be rude but he kind of had a girlfriend already, and he was pretty sure Bella wouldn’t be too happy with the idea of him going on a cruise with another girl. The hosts of the night then called for a first round of beer pong. “Easy stuff. I used to play basketball.” Not that it absolutely meant he would ace this shit, but still, he had a good aim. However, it didn’t seem to be the case for his partner. Leo missed the cup on their first turn. “It better. I want that plushie dolphin.” He said seriously. He smirked when she looked away. He aimed at one of the corner cups and threw it exactly where he wanted it. “Drink up, bitches !” He shouted at the opposing team.

Elmo’s personality made it relatively easy for Leo to open up. She wasn’t the best at banter, but he seemed easy-going, and not easy to offend. “I’m not the best at jokes. But I don’t think humour is what we’re going to need right now.” She smiled, returning her attention to the Olympics. She was honestly surprised at how much her competitive streak was coming out. She was used to an easy life. Not easy as happy, but easy as a routine that was so ingrained in her that nothing seemed to challenge her anymore. “And I’ve always preferred the Cookie Monster anyways”. She winked.
She could feel how excited he was about their team, and it made her want to win even more. “Boy, I don’t think they have a clue what they’re getting into do they ?” She felt the excitement of the crowd, and honestly, her and Elmo seemed to be the “sober-est” ones out there. It wasn’t bound to last, but she was sure they had a long road ahead before being hammered.  His reaction to the ticket things made her laugh. “Don’t worry man, you’re good.” She then changed her mind. “What do I get in exchange though ?” She didn’t actually expect any response, and frankly didn't care much. She just wanted to mess with him because he was in a relationship and happy. And happy couples deserve to be made fun of right? Maybe that was her ghoul of a single brain talking. That’s what years of loneliness do to you, she thought, try to kick the thought out of her head.  
Her partner seemed way more at ease with the beer pong than her. Fucking jocks. Leo didn’t think she ever even ran a mile. “Hey I want the dolphin too! I just need to warm up.” She lied. There was no way she was getting good at this, unless Jesus decided to have mercy on her. Their opponents got their first shot, and Leo took the first cup. That’s was her burden to bear, as dramatic as that sounded. She drank her cup like it was nothing, because come on, what’s beer? Basically water. But then Elmo managed to do an almost perfect throw. Leo cheered, before turning to him. “How the fuck did you even pull that off ?” She had to f-o-c-u-s. She tried to think about all these movies where the characters only have one bullet left to kill the enemy. And for some – still mysterious - reason, she got the ball in a cup. Leo let out a scream. It was honestly the happiest she had felt in a while. “See ? I’m not that bad after all.” She said, putting her hands on her hips proudly. “You guys are dead”, she spat at the opposite team. She might have been getting slightly ahead of herself but whatever. She was positively confident they would win no matter what.

Elmo was always the one to joke around. Because of that, he was never taken too seriously. It probably was better that way anyway since he hated having to take responsibilities or to act in a mature way. He had a tendency to minimize every situation so that he wouldn’t have to face the consequences. In some occasion, it would prove to be right for him, but in other cases, it came right back at him like a boomerang. With Bella or Vega, for instance, his sense of humour could sometimes put him in delicate situations. Or was it just because they were girls? Lol, just joking. “You don’t know yet, maybe there’s a contest for the best comedy duo.” He answered, smiling back at Leo. How would that work exactly, he didn’t know. Maybe they would have to drink for every failed joke. Leo added that she had always preferred the Cookie Monster. Elmo pretended to be offended, raising his eyebrows with his eyes wide opened. “How could you !?” At least his name was still a name, in a weird way. If his parents had decided to call him Cookie Monster, that would have been something else entirely. Anyway, let’s move on. They both made their way to the beer pong table and stood against their opponents. “It’s going to hit them in the face pretty hard, yeah.” And pretty fast, too. And if it didn’t hit them in the face, it would hit them in the cups, if you know what I mean. Before starting the contest, the hosts announced the prizes of the night. Elmo wasn’t sure how he felt about winning two tickets for a cruise with Leo. That would be kind of weird, wouldn’t it? Luckily, she didn’t seem to want them that much. Elmo, on the other hand, wanted to win them so bad so he could offer a little getaway with Bella. His salary from the local coffeeshop could never let him afford that. “Hummm … I don’t know, what do you propose? Do you have something in mind? I’m willing to negotiate.” Minutes later, Elmo had his answer. He would gladly give her the plushie dolphin in exchange for the tickets. “Warm up? We’re way past that, partner. There’s no time for practice. This is the real deal.” No pressure, uh. She drank her cup while Elmo made an almost perfect throw. He cheered, turning to Leo with a big proud smile. “Hey I told you I was good. I never lie.” He lied. Haha. Leo gave it a shot again and, thanks to some holy entity up there, she threw the ball right into one of the cups. “YEEEES, THAT’S MY GIRL.” He screamed. He turned again to their opponents. “But don’t cry, I’m sure you won’t be the only team to bow down to us at the end of the night.” He added after Leo told them they were dead. Were they getting a bit too cocky, too soon? Only time would tell, but for the moments, the next few rounds were pretty good to them. Hell, he even wished the opposite team would be a bit better so he could drink more than the two little cups of beer he had to chug.

Leo had never been the funny person. And when she was, it never seemed to be on purpose. That was something she had accepted long ago. She was never going to be the center of the room. But she could manage sometimes, especially when she had had a couple drinks. Or half a dozen. "Which would mean we'd win everything. That would be way too easy for us, we gotta give them a chance to even try." They bantered a little bit more, about Elmo's name, and Leo just making fun of him overall. She had a shitty name, something old that her dad had given her. She never told anyone. She preferred Leo, short, simple, androgynous. No bullshit.
"I mean, if you end up blinding them, it might increase our chances." She said laughing. "Even though I don't think we're going to need it." She might be getting overconfident, but alcohol did that to her. It also made her careless. In any sense of the word. At the moment, she didn't care about any cruise or something, she only cared about drinking and winning. Drinking she could do, winning wasn't her thing. But she damn well intended on turning the tide. "Honestly I don't. I suggest we win first, and then we figure it out. Your eternal gratefulness would suffice." She winked. "Or you can come by my bar and tip me. That would also work." Elmo was as motivated as she was. She would even say unhinged, but she didn't really mind. She downed the cup in an instant. "Beat this." she said. Actually, it was better for them if he didn't have to drink, but she wanted to show off her "skills" for a bit. "Right." People always lie, and she didn't believe him for a bit. But she didn't really mind. She lied all the time too, but the thing is that she ended up forgetting what was true or not. After the holy spirit granted her a perfect shot, she high-fived Elmo right in the hand. Ouch, she flinched. She might have gone a bit overboard. Elmo flaunted his win for a bit, nagging their opponents. She just smirked, arms crossed, looking confident as hell. She was getting bored, it was almost too easy, and there were way too sober. Beer pong ended a few minutes later. She heard the organizers scream. "Everybody out!!" At first she believed there was a fire. But what waited for them outside was even worse. "What the fuck." She mutter. "A sack race? How old are they?" she said turning to Elmo. They were young students, she thought, reminding herself that Elmo and her were actually impostors here. And obviously, it wouldn't be a frat party if the participants didn't have to down five shots before going. That was going to be hard on the stomach she thought, especially when they didn't offer chasers to push the liquor down. She shrugged. "Ready for round 2?"

Leo wasn’t funny in an intentional way indeed. But Elmo had laughed many times already and not only at his own stupid jokes. While he made absurd puns, Leo had kind of a deadpan humour. She said things sometimes in a neutral way, sometimes in an ironic way, but whatever tone she chose, it made the conversation seem funny. Elmo always had a hard time with that kind of humour, since most of the times he couldn’t figure out if the person was truly serious or not. Maybe Leo was thinking he was a complete tool for laughing at everything she said without any reason. Whatever, he didn’t mind. He was actually kind of dumb and never pretended otherwise. They continued teasing each other for a bit before making their way to the beer pong table. Elmo laughed at Leo’s quick retort about hitting them in the face. “Are you asking me to intentionally throw that in that guy’s eye?” Elmo asked, showing the ball in his hand. “’Cause I could. I’m that good. But I’d rather not end the night in jail, or worse by being sued. I can barely make rent, so …” And that is exactly why he needed to win that little vacation on a cruise. It would be an awesome getaway he could never afford otherwise. It was definitely his lucky night since his partner didn’t even want the damn tickets. Anybody else would have fought for it, instead she only asked for his eternal gratefulness or some tip at her bar. “Which bar do you work at? Maybe it’s already the place I spend my weekends at, so that wouldn’t be hard to deliver.” He was already generously tipping the bartenders. Being a barista with a shitty salary, he knew how the tip could make a huge difference. Leo downed a cup just to show off a bit, and Elmo looked at her smiling, and actually quite impressed. “You’re challenging me while they didn’t even manage to shoot correctly in one of our cups? Ah, whatever, they could use the help.” He chose a random cup and chugged the beer. A third of it ended falling on his t-shirt. “Well now there’s no way my girlfriend won’t smell how much beer I’ve drank tonight.” He said looking at his damp shirt. Well, for now he was still being reasonable, but he wasn’t planning on staying that calm all evening. Hopefully the next games would involve more drinking. Another perfect throw later, Leo and Elmo started to get a bit too cocky, high-fiving each other and nagging their opponents. Without much surprise, they won the game a few minutes later. The organizers then asked everybody to go outside. Well, by asked, I mean they screamed their lungs out in order for everybody to hear. Elmo and Leo followed everyone outside to the garden. Pillow cases and random obstacles were waiting for them. “Ok, now I’m glad I don’t have a dozen beers inside my system. I’d throw up before I reach the first obstacle.” But of course, they thought of that, and each contestant had to down five shots before the race began. He sighed. Not feeling so victorious, after all! “I hope you’re in good shape. The most physical activity I do is in the bedroom.” He smirked. He used to play various team sports but he completely stopped when he arrived in Australia. He had no cardio endurance anymore.

“I didn’t ask. I suggested.” She smirked. Elmo’s exaggerated confidence was very funny to her, even though she could hardly tell if he was joking or if he really had such an inflated ego. Whatever the truth was, she didn’t care: they were winning. “In jail? Dude we can outrun them easily… Don’t have to pay no bail when there’s no jail.” She said, putting on a quite terrible and fairly cringy Southern accent. “I work at the Elm Street. It’s my second home by this point. Plus, if you’re ever strapped for cash, there’s a backroom. I swear sleeping on kegs isn’t too bad if you bring a pillow.” She had spent a few nights in there, which wasn’t something she usually bragged about. But sometimes you had to make do with what you had, especially when you’re a raging alcoholic who can barely make it home after each shift. Not that Leo would ever admit it. “Honestly I don’t really recall you’re face. Maybe you just have bad taste in bars.” She shrugged. She would defend that place with all she had. This tiny bar that smelled like old wood had saved her life. What wasn’t going to save her though, was the amount of alcohol she was about to inject into her bloodstream tonight. After she downed her cup, Elmo followed suit. She let out a laugh when basically the entire thing ended up on his shirt. “Slob.” She wasn’t planning on staying sober, but she at least planned on staying dry. “I was just getting bored is all, though we could use the fun.” Even though the party was raging, she still felt bored. Unchallenged. Her main competition wasn’t really the other students. She was more focused on outwitting and outdrinking Elmo. “What, is she monitoring you?” She said jokingly. No one was going to check on her tonight. The only person who might eventually notice would be Marcus, but her shift was starting late enough tomorrow for her to catch a shower beforehand anyone.
Beer pong ended soon enough, which they obviously won by a landslide. They were feeling like the kings of the world. Nothing better for your ego than winning and an endless stream of alcohol. And cocaine. God I miss this shit, she thought, daydreaming. Or nightdreaming. She tried to focus on the game again. “I mean, throwing up doesn’t mean you’re eliminated. So whatever happens happens.” Five shots later, she wasn’t feeling that cocky anymore. No matter how used to it you are, liquor still had this way of twisting your guts. “God you’re unsufferable.” Her annoyance wasn’t all convincing since she was laughing her ass off. She hiccuped, her body trying to reject the vodka she had just downed. It was shitty bottom shelf liquor, closer to rubbing alcohol than anything else. “Honestly man, my lungs are an ashtray by now. But I frequently run from my landlord. It’ll make do.” She stared into his eyes, channeling her inner sports coach. An impression that sucked horribly, as she had never played sports once in her life and everything she knew about it was from bad movies. “We have to win this. Even he we die in the process.” Her words for solemn, even though her lips were twitching from the laugh she was suppressing. As the team stepped up to the starting line, she held the sack tightly and exhaled. “For Sparta!!” she screamed, bunny hopping towards victory.

Elmo glanced at Leo with suspicion. “Hmm-hmm. Tomayto tomahto.” She may not have told him specifically to do it, but she might as well have. Whenever someone suggested something to Elmo with a challenging tone, he was prone to do it. He only wanted to please everyone around him, you see ! L-o-l. He was just completely childish. Life was still a game to him and during evenings like this one, it could still pass, but in his everyday adult life, it could become an issue. Elmo laughed joyfully at Leo’s Southern accent. “Oooh, look at ya’ with your big rhymes! I think from now on I’ll just call you Lil’ Leo.” Elmo also tried some kind of accent but really, it didn’t end up sounding like anything. He’d better stick to Italian. The ex-student asked the brunette about her barmaid job and the bar where she worked. Since he was a proud customer of many bars in Bowen, maybe he had seen her before behind the counter. He was surprised to learn she was bartending at the Elm Street. And she didn’t recall his face.  “Dude.” He said, not caring at all she was a woman. Friendzoned already, sorry. “You do realize there’s like … my name on it?” He asked, referring to Elm being short for Elmo. It wasn’t the first time he was trying to sell this story to someone. “How long have you been working there? ‘Cause before your time, this place used to be called Bowen’s Paradise, a shitty name before I came and gave a second life to that bar. All they needed was a super dope customer to bring a younger vibe to the place. I turned things around there. That’s why the owner decided to name the bar after me.” He explained, inventing every detail as the words came out of his mouth. Elmo had only been in Bowen for a few years, there was no way Leo was going to believe something like that. She seemed to be just a bit older than him so maybe she had been working there even before he could legally drink in Australia. He probably never should have gotten that right anyway, seeing how he wasn’t even able to chug a beer without spilling some on himself. Bella was going to smell that as soon as he would enter her apartment. “No, yo, she’s not my mom.” He had enough of one. “But she won’t let me sleep next to her if I reek of booze. I’ll have to take a shower and sleep shirtless but I tend to get really chilly at night …”  He shrugged, with his little angel face. And that cute face – and their notable skills – drove them right to victory. It was now time for the next challenge and the unshakable duo was ready for another fight. Everybody was now outside, getting ready for the sack race. He winced, imagining vomit spots everywhere on the course. “Anything for a win, right?” After they downed their five shots, they where next in line. Leo didn’t seem to be confident in her own physical health either. Why couldn’t they just keep on drinking? That, they were unequivocally good at. He laughed at her remark about her landlord. He appreciated her more and more. “Whatever it takes, sister. Whatever it takes, I will do it.” He said solemnly, putting his hand on her shoulder. “I won’t let you down.” Not this time, not ever. They were on their way to the podium, standing on the big number one, and no one was going to get in their way. At least that’s what he thought. “FOR SPARTAAAAA!!!” He screamed, not minding what time it was. He started bunny hopping towards the finish line but unfortunately, four or five jumps later, he stumbled and fell on the ground. He looked up at Leo who was still in the race. “GO LEO! I BELIEVE IN YOU!” And, most of all, he was counting on her. Those cruise tickets were at stake.